I gave birth to grief last night
A raw and leathery thing
Scaly claws emerging
from a womb
that has never held life
**********
Where does all this grief go?
How much more
Will continue sliding out of me?
I must count out enough rags
To wipe up all this mess
**********
The grief undulates
a moving living creature
it is monstrous
**********
My throat makes
A keening choking noise
**********
beti
are you lost?
Abu
where did you go?

What is fear?
Fear is this snake in my stomach
A roiling, writhing mess
Sinuous anticipation
A measured watching and waiting
The coiled viper waiting to strike
I am exhausted and so worn
I am waiting for the clamor of bells
A hope that the house I have built
Extends beyond these four…